Things I need to remember;
1. Stop getting my hopes up.
2. Stop expecting so much.
3. Stop fucking up.
-Carl Sagan (via whats-out-there)
my cousin accidently texted me instead of his wife
- cousin: guess who's got two thumbs, a dick, and wants to rub himself against you like a tom cat in heat? THIS GUY. [nude picture of said cousin pointing at himself with both thumbs and an erection]
- cousin: oh fuck oh fuck
- cousin: broomy oh fuck no don't look shut your eyes
- me: I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY
- me: OUR LOVE IS FORBIDDEN BUT STRONG
- cousin: no please don't
- me: COME, MY WILD AND YOWLING TOM CAT. COME AND TAKE ME FOR I AM YOURS FOREVER.
- cousin: I hate you.